


it's gourd to see you

by kellifer_fic



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Derek Uses His Words, M/M, Misunderstandings, Oblivious Stiles, Podfic Available, Pumpkins, haunted pumpkin patch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-30
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2018-02-23 06:42:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2538038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kellifer_fic/pseuds/kellifer_fic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Who let Derek pick the pumpkin place?" Lydia says with a judgmental glare.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's gourd to see you

**Author's Note:**

> Part of my spooky Halloween ficlet fills. This one was for the prompt - pumpkin carving + pack bonding.

"This was supposed to be a fun, bonding pack activity," Stiles complains bitterly. He's currently covered head to foot in pumpkin goop, he's not sure where any of the others are save Lydia who's squatting next to him and miraculously is untouched except for a delicate orange smear on one cheek and oh yeah, they're in a _haunted pumpkin patch_.

Haunted.

Pumpkin patch.

What is his life?

"Who let Derek pick the pumpkin place?" Lydia says with a judgmental glare.

"He got all... keen. He researched online and everything. This was supposed to have the nicest, carviest pumpkins-"

"Carviest is not a word."

"So not important right now," Stiles points out, because they're currently being advanced on by a bunch of large, apparently carnivorous pumpkins. Stiles and Lydia are behind a cutesy antique wagon but Stiles is pretty sure they've been spotted if the steadily increasing volume of rustling is any indication.

"I just wanted to go to the supermarket," Lydia sniffs.

"I don't want to go like this. I don't want a comedy death," Stiles moans feelingly and Lydia smacks him.

"No one is dying. They were pretty fragile. We just need to kick them in their weird little pumpkin teeth."

"There is no limit to how wrong it is that they have _teeth_."

"There is no limit to how wrong it is that we're stuck in this situation because of you and Derek."

"Me? How is it my fault?"

"If you would both just get over yourselves and admit you have feelings for each other, we wouldn't be in these increasingly ridiculous situations. Derek is showing off for you and you agree to whatever completely crazy thing he suggests we do _as a pack_ to _watch_ him show off."

"Lies and slander!" Stiles shrills. He feels something clamp onto his foot and he does not shriek but it's a close thing when he sees a small, pretty underdeveloped pumpkin trying to gnaw on his toes through his sneaker. 

Lydia stands, pulls back her foot and kicks it clear across the patch. "These shoes are _ruined_ ," she intones dangerously.

"I'll buy you new boots," Stiles promises, feeling his toes carefully to make sure they're all still accounted for.

Another five pumpkins, large, bloated monstrosities this time, round the wagon and grin with their square, pumpkin teeth. They drag themselves along with green, viney limbs and make a kind of pleased chittering sound as they advance. 

Derek somersaults over them from behind and lands on two of the pumpkins, the hapless would-be devourers exploding on impact. Derek makes short work of the other three, huffing and growling as he works, then looks back at Lydia and Stiles with a triumphant smirk. "You guys okay?"

"Isn't this the part where you flutter your eyelashes and clasp your hands under your chin?" Lydia asks Stiles sourly, stomping past Derek.

"Is she alright?" Derek asks, watching after her with concerned eyes. Stiles sees another pumpkin, what looks like a single escapee from the carnage, try to drag itself out of her way and she pursues it with an unholy light in her eyes. Stiles spots Scott and Erica watching on bemusedly a few more feet away, their expressions morphing into abject glee as Lydia crosses over to them, snatches the crowbar Erica had gotten from god knows where out of her hands and then resumes her pursuit of the remaining pumpkin that actually squeals and tries to bury itself.

"I kinda feel sorry for that one," Stiles remarks, grimacing. There's a whistle of the crowbar slicing the air and then a meaty _kerchunk_ as the pumpkin gets dispatched to wherever haunted pumpkins go when they've been well and truly shunted off the mortal coil.

"She seemed... upset," Derek says and when Stiles gives him a look, he shrugs. "I mean, not just about the killer sentient pumpkins."

"She seems to think this was all caused by my crush-" Stiles starts to say, but manages to catch the sentence before he admits something he wasn't ready to just because he's a little distracted by haunted gourds. When Derek gives him a strange look, he continues lamely, "-ing need to, um..."

He's got nothing.

"It's my fault," Derek says, bless him, obviously thinking Stiles is trying to take the blame for their latest disastrous attempt at normal.

"Of course it is," Stiles snorts and Derek looks crestfallen which is just not right. "I mean, not... just that we're _here_. You couldn't have known about the blood-thirsty Cucurbita maxima."

"I should've gotten the hint by now," Derek grumbles, kicking his feet through a few errant pieces of pumpkin shell.

"That everything you organize ends in disaster and screaming?"

"Well," Derek says and flails his hands. "I mean, you keep inviting the whole pack to our dates."

"I... what?" Stiles says faintly.

"I probably should have gotten it the first or maybe even the _fifth_ time you did it, but I thought maybe it was just a misunderstanding or whatever."

"Huh?" Stiles can feel his mouth basically unhinge but Derek must misinterpret his bewildered expression for something else because he scowls. 

"Don't worry, it took me a while but I get it now."

"Get what?" Stiles squeaks. His brain is still stuck on the word _date_ , like a record with a deep groove and no matter what he does, he can't jolt the needle out of it to resume normal play.

"You're not... into this. You know, you could have just _told_ me."

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" Stiles says, possibly too loudly because Derek flinches and he sees Scott, Lydia, Erica, Boyd and Isaac all raise their heads from where they're standing on the other side of the patch. 

Derek just stares hard at him for a second, before his face does something complicated and he smacks a hand over his face. "Oh my god."

"This was supposed to be a _date_?" Stiles says, wringing his hands at the sky.

"You didn't even _know_?" Derek groans and when he tugs his hand away from his face he looks mortified. "That's even worse."

"I just thought you were really excited about the pack-bonding lately."

"Stiles, the movies, the hike, the _picnic_?"

"Okay, now you're saying it like that, it's obvious," Stiles says, flailing his arms.

"Well," Derek sighs, flicking some pumpkin gore from his jacket with a distasteful twist to his mouth. "I think I've had enough embarrassment for one night."

Derek turns and starts to trudge back across the pumpkin patch towards their cars. Stiles lets him get half way across before he stumbles after Derek. "Wait, Derek dammit, wait!" Stiles calls.

Derek ignores him.

Stiles swoops down, scoops up a particularly unpleasant pile of pumpkin goop and throws it at Derek. He's a _terrible_ shot, no amount of Lacrosse training seems to have made his aim better so while Stiles was planning to hit the ground just in front of Derek, instead he hits Derek in the back of his head.

Derek freezes and turns back around slowly. "Are you _kidding_ me?"

"I didn't know, but I would have been _all over it_ if I had!" Stiles says, stumbling across the uneven ground after Derek. "I've had a pathetic crush on you ever since you did an outstanding impression of a grumpy old man at me and Scott that first day, all _get off my lawn_."

"Then _why_ do you keep inviting everyone when I ask you out?" Derek asks, sounding plaintive.

"Because to me the very idea that _you_ would ask _me_ out on a date? Not in the realm of possible," Stiles says, tugging his hands through his hair. He's pretty sure he dislodges a whole bunch of pumpkin seeds which, ugh. 

"So this _has_ all been some big misunderstanding?" Derek asks with a raised eyebrows.

"Looks that way."

"So if I ask you out again, you won't invite everyone?"

"No!"

"Thank god!" Lydia calls across from them, one of the werewolves obviously giving her a running commentary of their conversation. Stiles flips her off and she waves back with one of her best sarcastic smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> [Come say hi on tumblr!](http://kellifer-k.tumblr.com/)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] It's Gourd To See You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2540012) by [dapatty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dapatty/pseuds/dapatty)




End file.
